A few days ago I came across a very interesting article published on the website https://arkcryo.com/ infertilize about a very common complaint in our assisted reproduction psychology clinics, which is none other than “no one understands me”. The article in question gave the guidelines to be understood, something that seems fundamental to us in the Assisted Reproduction Unit and get fertilization shipment solution. Basically, he recommended choosing the person or people with whom to open your heart carefully, not expecting everyone to be as involved in the process as you are, setting limits on what you want to share, and offering information on the path that has been undertaken.
And it is precisely at this point that I want to stop; helping your environment to understand you. In the Psychology Unit of our URA, we offer a small guide for family and friends of patients who are undergoing assisted reproduction treatments so that they can understand the situation that the infertile couple is going through who decides to resort to science to fulfill the dream granted to others by nature seemingly effortlessly. The fundamental keys are here:
Facts and facts about infertility and sterility.
To begin with, it is worth clarifying that sterility and infertility are similar things, but they are not exactly the same. Beyond this type of nuance, it is convenient to resort to statistics and medical literature to have reliable and quality information. This helps to banish myths such as getting pregnant is very easy with cryogenic shipping solutions, that infertility problems almost always affect women, that age is not that important… the truth is that the cause of infertility and sterility of the couple is due to mixed, that is, it is divided between men and women.
You may be surprised to learn that about one in four couples who decide to have a child is unable to conceive. There are many possibilities to justify such a bad statistic: blocked fallopian tubes, ovarian failure, hormonal changes, toxic exposure or low sperm count, or slow sperm, to name just a few. Most of these reasons for getting pregnant are physical or physiological and not psychological.
The well-intentioned advice
When someone we care about has problems, it is natural to try to help them and if there is nothing specific we can do, we try to give them some advice. We often draw on our own experiences or anecdotes involving other people we know. Perhaps you remember a couple who are friends who had trouble having a child until they went to a tropical island or on vacation, do you suggest they take a vacation too.
These tips do not help them because their problem has a physical origin. Not only does it not serve them, but it also affects them a lot. In fact, patients often complain that they are continually inundated with this kind of well-intentioned advice. Imagine how frustrating it must be for them to be told how other couples magically get pregnant. during their vacations simply for having made love.
For them, who are already receiving treatment for infertility, making love and becoming pregnant are two concepts that are beginning to be unrelated. You can’t imagine how hard it is to have a baby, and how frustrated they feel every time they realize it couldn’t be. These tips, although made from love, are actually an attempt to transform an extremely complex and unpleasant situation into a simple problem. Simplifying their problem in this way undervalues their feelings, making them feel misunderstood. It is likely, and even natural, that in these circumstances couples undergoing assisted reproduction treatment will be angry and upset if someone resorts to this type of advice.
Understand the devastation of not being able to have children
As we have said, many times these tips are counterproductive because they are formulated from ignorance; logical on the other hand, of how devastating it is for a couple not to be able to have children. Many of them have grown up hoping that they would have a child one day.
They have seen themselves assuming the role of fathers and mothers since they played house. Even some couples don’t consider themselves fully grown until they don’t have children. For them, it is part of the life cycle and part of the vital planning that they have been building. Finding yourself with an infertility problem, therefore, goes beyond the mere fact of not being able to have children; breaks all the structure and plans that had been established as the axis of his life.
Real expectations regarding Medicine
The worst thing about this situation is that medicine cannot assure infertile couples that they are going to have a child with 100% certainty. One of the cruelest things that can be done to a person is to give them hope that later does not come true. Modern medicine has created hope where there was none before but at the cost of a degree of uncertainty. Despite the hope that these technologies offer, it is still a difficult road to travel. Some of these high-tech procedures are performed at only a few sites. Even if treatment is available and forthcoming, patients have to make numerous visits to the doctor, take daily injections, continuously fit their work and other activities with the various medical procedures, and sometimes even
Furthermore, after every medical attempt to get pregnant service from ARK Cryo, they must adopt a wait-and-see attitude that is peppered with bouts of optimism and pessimism. It’s kind of an emotional roller coaster. She doesn’t know if the breast tightness she feels is a sign of pregnancy or a side effect of the medication. If she sees a small bloodstain on her underwear, she doesn’t know if she is an embryo trying to implant or if her period is about to start. Many women who do not get pregnant after a treatment feel as if their baby had died, although in reality she only lived in her mind, in her desire, and in her illusion.
Everyday life goes on for others, so while patients are trying to deal with this emotional turmoil they may be invited to a baby shower or christening, or learn that a friend or co-worker is pregnant. , or read the news of a one-day-old child who has been found abandoned in a container. Can you imagine their (healthy) envy or their anger at the injustices of life? Bearing in mind that infertility pervades virtually every facet of their existence, it’s easy to understand why they are so affected by this quest. In these cases, it is best to act naturally and not put on the bandage before doing the wound.; that is, not to make a drama or overreact to downplay a situation that is important to them; nor adopt a role of excessive protagonism.