Do you think it is time to change? I think it is. I think it is time to wake up from hibernation and start getting ready for the spring. Enough with complaining and enough with waiting. It is time to take control and put your life in order. Because what you were doing before is definitely not working. Start eliminating those attributes that didn’t serve you well in the past and stop with these Six Self Destructing Habits and start getting rid of them one by one.
Here we go,
Number One – Stop complaining, start being grateful
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough” – Anonymous
It is a scientific fact that being grateful helps to improve the quality of your life. However, despite all the benefits, by default, we choose to complain and focus on what went wrong.
Here are some science backed truth about why you should be grateful:
- Grateful people live longer
- They have stronger bond with their community
- Have less stress-related illnesses
- Have more satisfying relationships with others
So, stop focusing on what went wrong, start looking for the things that went right. There are people out there, who have a lot less than what you have and they can find tons of reasons to put a smile on their faces.
Number Two – Stop waiting for a savior, be your own savior
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path” – The Buddha
If you are waiting for someone or for a miracle to give you a breakthrough, then it will be a very long wait. The harsh truth is no one is coming to save you. Even if they did, with that same attitude, you will end up in the same ditch. Get rid of the victim mentality and take responsibility for your own life. Be your own savior. But how?
Do something that you haven’t done before. Start small. You don’t have to achieve all your goals on the first day. Define your goals. That can be a good start. Then start taking small but determined steps each day. Maybe do your bed every day for a week as soon as you wake up. Don’t wait for a perfect time to start. Get in the habit of doing things, when you don’t feel like doing them. You don’t want to get out of bed, push yourself out of the bed. You don’t feel like reading, push yourself to read for 10 minutes. How you live your day will become your life. So make sure you do something useful and don’t be spending it for someone to come and save you. Be your own savior and save yourself one small step at a time.
Number Three – Stop trying to be perfect, sometimes “good enough” is all it takes
“People always try to be perfect. That’s why they don’t start anything” – Tony Robbins
People wear perfectionism as pride. Although it has its benefits, in reality, it is a weakness. A typical perfectionist is very eager to work; they can focus a lot longer; they can be a lot more engaged at work. It sounds great so far. But there is a flipside to this. According to many studies, perfectionists have higher levels of stress, burnout, anxiety, and depression.
When you aim for perfection, you aim for standards high beyond reach or standards that are very difficult to maintain. Therefore aiming for perfection brings stress and anxiety along with itself. According to the studies above, it also doesn’t make you better at your work.
Aiming for perfection requires you to pick fault in every little detail. Remember number one? We are not looking for what is wrong. We are happy with “good enough”. We are happy that we started and made progress. Aiming for perfection can halt your progress, can cause stress and anxiety. Also, what you would consider perfect today, will need upgrading and improvement tomorrow. So, it would be a very stressful game to chase perfection.
Number Four – Stop with wrong types of “What-If”s
“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one” Unknown
Unless you know something that I don’t, we cannot bring back the past and we cannot change the way things happened in the past. Dwelling on what happened or what didn’t happen, how it should have happened, or if it would have happened. These types of thoughts will bring you no benefits. You will need to focus on what you could do now, so you won’t ask similar questions in the future.
Ask yourself this, What if you start something today and see what happens in the future? What if you start exercising today? What if you start working on that project, you keep delaying it for a while. What if you called your loved ones and told them you loved them. What if you make your peace with the past and give all your love to this present moment? What if…
Number Five – Stop overdoing
Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective – Doe Zantamata
You need breaks to think and reflect. You need time to do absolutely nothing. There is nothing wrong with having ambitions and taking action to reach your goals. But if you don’t make time to celebrate your small wins, you will burn out before reaching your goals. Make time for games, make time to watch your favorite show, make time to go out with friends and families.
Stuck on a problem? Feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Stop everything and try to do something totally different. Get out of the house, listen to music, meditate, watch something funny, just do something different. In fact, just do absolutely nothing. Maybe that is all you need to recuperate and start fresh.
Number Six – Stop doing the same things over and over
“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” – Unknown
Most of the time we keep doing the same things because we are comfortable doing them. We don’t want to go through the hassle of trying different methods. We will stop evolving and improving because we stick to the safer and less risky options. We don’t want to take new risks that might lead us to different and better paths.
Challenge yourself every day and choose at least one thing that would make you uncomfortable and do it. Remember this, easy options will lead to a difficult life, and difficult choices will lead you to an easy life.
So here we go, six self-destructing habits that you will need to get rid of. Remember to change a habit takes time. Nothing happens overnight. It doesn’t matter how much you do a day, as long as you take one firm step forward, it is a step closer to reaching your goals. Finally, remember to celebrate your small wins, Good Luck. You can read more articles like this at DadWithPurpose.com.